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One study found that speed daters questioned about their relationship preferences usually prove themselves wrong just minutes later with what they show to prefer in the actual event.
This shouldn’t be a surprise—in life, you usually don’t get good at something until you’ve done it a bunch of times.
Let’s take a look at some of the common types of people who fall victim to all of this and end up in unhappy relationships: Overly Romantic Ronald’s downfall is believing that love is enough reason on its own to marry someone.
Romance can be a great part of a relationship, and love is a key ingredient in a happy marriage, but without a bunch of other important things, it’s simply not enough.
But unlike death and the universe’s size, picking a life partner is fully in your control, so it’s critical to make yourself entirely clear on how big a deal the decision really is and to thoroughly analyze the most important factors in making it. I’m pretty sure no one over 80 reads Wait But Why, so no matter who you are, that’s a of time—and almost the entirety of the rest of your one existence.
(Sure, people get divorced, but you don’t think you will.
Unfortunately, the way society is set up, fear starts infecting all kinds of otherwise-rational people, sometimes as early as the mid-twenties.
Fear is one of the worst possible decision-makers when it comes to picking the right life partner.___________________ So when you take a bunch of people who aren’t that good at knowing what they want in a relationship, surround them with a society that tells them they have to find a life partner but that they should under-think, under-explore, and hurry up, and combine that with biology that drugs us as we try to figure it out and promises to stop producing children before too long, what do you get?A frenzy of big decisions for bad reasons and a lot of people messing up the most important decision of their life.No, when it comes to dating, society frowns upon thinking too much about it, instead opting for things like relying on fate, going with your gut, and hoping for the best.If a business owner took society’s dating advice for her business, she’d probably fail, and if she succeeded, it would be partially due to good luck—and that’s how society wants us to approach dating.
Our brains can usually override this process if we’re just not that into someone, but for all those middle ground cases where the right move is probably to move on and find something better, we often succumb to the chemical roller coaster and end up getting engaged.